


UNO

by heydinis, skyualker



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Evil, Art, Aziraphale is So Done (Good Omens), Crowley Being a Bastard (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens), Drinking, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Kinda, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Unofficial Sequel, and so are the characters, yea the game uno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22221382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heydinis/pseuds/heydinis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyualker/pseuds/skyualker
Summary: Uno is certainly something evil. And that's proof that it was Crowley who created it.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	UNO

**Author's Note:**

> Translation into Português available: [Uno](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220794)  
> First of all, heloOOo. So, we didn't exactly plain this little drable, and it is our first work in this fandom and together, it's special! 
> 
> We were playing uno on new year's eve, and I was kinda drunk. Nobody was winning, no good cards were being drawn, and we were at the same game fOR AGES. So I got pissed and started to scream that Crowley must have created uno, cause this thing is EVIL.  
> With this, I came up with the plot, and still drunk, I made the little sketch that you'll see by the end of the story. We were also amazed that one of the first memes of 2020, that appeared just a few days after we've done this, is related to uno???  
> So, based on my drawing heydinis wrote the words, I refined them, it was originally written in Portuguese so I translated it to English as well, and here we are! I tried my best with the translation, hope I didn't mess things up that much.
> 
> That being said, enjoy!

It was really cold outside. Crowley didn’t like it, being cold-blooded has its disadvantages. And he didn’t like  _ at all _ being alone in his flat, the place way too cold, empty. So every time the temperature dropped, Crowley’d make excuses and drive his cold ass to Soho.

“Let me in, Angel!” he frenetically knocked the glass of the front door of the bookshop. People were passing by and stared, but they actually didn’t care about the strange man in dark glasses almost breaking in poor Mr. Fell’s bookshop. And Crowley couldn’t care less about them.

Aziraphale was in the middle of an important reading and sighed impatiently as got to his feet to get the door – _but really, Crowley could simply walk in, the bookshop was never closed to him, Crowley just liked to be a drama queen_ \- Crowley’d drive more attention than necessary if stayed there much longer. And well, it was cold, Aziraphale knew how much the demon hated the cold. With his fluffy tartan slippers, the angel got to his front door.

“You surely don’t need to yell like that!” he opened the door, brought Crowley inside by his shoulders, and closed it again. Crowley was rubbing his hands together, trying to stop the cold from freezing his bones, he took off his sunglasses, showing that he felt comfortable there. Aziraphale has noticed this simple act of trust centuries ago but has never said anything about it. He knew Crowley’d deny it for eternity.

Aziraphale knew the answer to his next question already, but he always asked, it was the polite thing to do. “Would you like something hot to drink-”

“Alcohol.” The demon said at the same time, not even waiting for the end of the question. He passed by the desk Aziraphale was sitting by just a moment before, looking around to see what the angel was reading, and made his way to the backroom.

_Of course, lazy serpent._

By their own account, as if there was his own home, his long legs made all the way there, entering the room, Crowley plopped on the _recamier_ , and just stayed there, waiting for Aziraphale.

As if he already knew that the demon would come to him, and he knew that Crowley knew that he knew it, Aziraphale walked to the room with two glasses between his fingers, and a bottle of their favorite wine, as if all of this was something they did regularly. They did.

“There is only some bottles of _châteauneuf-du-pape_ left, that said, let’s try not to drink the whole bottle today, right, my dear?.” After chats about dolphins, and angel food cakes, and a few hours, the number of bootles on the carpet was just increasing and kept increasing.

_Who was miracling all of them? They didn’t know and probably didn’t care._

By 10:42 pm, there were three bottles, by 10:55 pm, six bottles.

They actually noticed all the bottles gathering around them, they could always take the liquor back to the bottles, of course, but they didn’t want to. They’d both deny it, but the angel and the demon liked to be this comfortable around each other, they could always blame the alcohol later.

As the more bottles appeared, the distance between them just became smaller and smaller. Tem bottles, tangled legs. Twelve bottles, they were holding hands now. Fourteen bottles and somehow they were in Aziraphale’s room, climbing on the bed together.

_Who had miracle them here? Again, they didn’t care, blame de alcohol._

Fifteen bottles, and now they were both shirtless.

Sixteen bottles, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, their physical contact escalated to hands running through every possible piece of skin. In a specific moment of the night, it was past midnight, Aziraphale thinks, they were both in their underwear, wrapped in an urgent kiss.

 _Ok so maybe they couldn’t blame the alcohol this time, Crowley thought_.

_Again_

_Well_

_Whatever floats their boats_

They were both in their underwear, Aziraphale was perfectly placed on Crowley’s lap, who had his back pressed against the headboard, and hands fixed on the soft naked back of his angel, slipping lower and lower. They were still kissing, they couldn’t stop whenever they started it.

_Why all the little game with the wine?, Aziraphale always thought._

_Why not get straight to the point? Crowley, the genius._

_Stupid supernatural entities, so in love._

So in the middle of all their passion, just the two of them, who had yearned for each other for 6 millennia, and were allowed to finally be close in the open just a few months ago- _big thanks to the Armaggedon_ \- not even God herself could stop them. Not when Crowley was already with his hand passing through the waistband of Aziraphale’s underwear.

And certainly not when Aziraphale was pulling Crowley so close and so happy that they could feel their wings about to pop out. And then Crowley started to burst into laughter.

_Oh no._

Aziraphale, still trying to catch his breath, raised one eyebrow, like all this situation was also regular. It was.

“Someone is _ridiculously_ mad at UNO again, aren’t they?” The tone of his voice was bored. Aziraphale’s body shook a little, as Crowley’s jolted as he laughed, and tried to talk really hard.

“There will _always_ be someone mad at UNO, angel!” Aziraphale’s discontent just got bigger with the confirmation. You see, demons have this kind of sensor in their heads, they always receive a demonic notification whenever one of their temptations of evil schemes worked. They could turn them off wherever however they want, but Crowley _of course_ always had the one for UNO on. It was a delight to know that his cruelest idea, the one he had in 1971 when he showed that colorful little cards to Merle Robbins, still was up and going. And like he said, until today, someone was _always_ mad at UNO.

So, yeah, this _little_ interruption was really, and really regular.

“Get _out_ of my bed, Crowley!” and the demon was just laughing more, and more, as Aziraphale tried to roll to his side, getting off of the demon. Demon that was now in tears, and you can say he was really proud of himself. “Look! You are mad again! It’s still working perfectly!.”

Aziraphale’s murderous glare, in any other day, would make the demon proud, but now? “I’m a genius, angel! Can I get a waho-“ the angel had thrown a pillow right at Crowley’s face “A _nightmare_ , It’s what you really are, Crowley.” and the demon failed miserably at trying to stop his laughter.

“I _hate_ this foolish game!” The demon still laughed, but tried to take Aziraphale’s hand “Stop, I hate it that you made it spread to the whole world! God knows how many unnecessary and _ridiculous_ rules there are now besides the ones you made up!”

Crowley’s laugh was low now, and he reached for his eyes to take the tears away with the back of his hand, and finally took a look at the angry angel that was there sitting at the edge of the bed, with his back turned to the demon, his fluffy curls were a mess. Without even looking at his face, Crowley knew the angel was already with a grumpy expression on his face and he knew exactly what to say.

There was just one thing about UNO that never failed to bring good memories to Aziraphale “But, angel, think about _all_ the makeup sex that has been done because of this little game, hm?” _oh yes, that’d work._ Again.

_A genius._

Crowley watched closely as his shoulders relaxed, and without even looking at his face, he knew Aziraphale was smiling now. It was his permission to go back to where they stopped a few minutes ago, he could touch again now, so the put a gentle hand on Aziraphale’s shoulder.

The angel turned slowly, facing Crowley back, showing his big smile, for now, Crowley was safe from his own evil schemes. Aziraphale slowly got back to Crowley’s lap “I’m still cross with you.” That’s what the angel said, but he was already playing with a strand of red hair, and sweetly kissing Crowley’s lips.

“I can see that, for sure,” Crowley smirked like he thought he was clever “No more interruptions tonight, promise.” And with that, the demon rolled them, the angel now was laying under his body, perfectly placed on the white soft sheets.

“Oh my dear, you really are tempting.” That’s what he was saying now, until the next UNO notification popped into Crowley’s head.

They kissed.

Like said before.

So stupid and in love. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find us on twitter!  
> [skyualker](https://twitter.com/valjeanbo)  
> [heydinis](https://twitter.com/heydinis)
> 
> Also! This little sketch is really dear to me now, so, it will me my Draw This in Your Style challenge! If you liked it, please reinterpret as you like! The only rule is to not change the dialogue, but you can dress them, undress, change positions, etc. If you do it (oh pleasee do) tag me on twitter or [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/valjeanbo/)  
> 


End file.
